Thinking of You (Wherever you Are)
by SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: Blue roses are Ventus' favorite flowers. Vanitas takes a bouquet to him. The sequel for my other one-shot 'Think of Me (I'm right beside you)", from the Day 3 of VanVen Week. The prompt I chose for this one is 'Memories".


"It's 47 dollars, sir."

He took his hands to his pants' pocket, searching for his wallet until he found it, and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. He put it on the balcony, muttered a low _Thank you_ to the man and turned his back to him.

"Sir, you forgot your-"

"Keep the change."

Despite having already stared at them inside the shop Vanitas took a few more seconds to observe the flowers, touching each one of them with the tip of his fingers and breathing in their sweet and soft scent. The bouquet was beautiful, a bouquet of blue roses. His favorite!

He held it tight and close to his chest, staring to both sides before crossing the street. All people who passed by looked at him in a different way; some stared with envy. Some, with respect. Most of them with happy expressions but all of them, with no exception, wondered who was the lucky one to receive that beautiful gift.

Vanitas returned the smiles he received, not straying from his path until he got to his car a few squares from there. Yes, some might say Ventus was lucky but it was actually the contrary. Ventus was his present, his most precious gift; he was the lucky one for having him in his life.

He knew the blond like no one else. Vanitas knew all of his habits, he knew what he liked and disliked to eat and he knew how to make him feel calmer in moments of stress. He knew Ventus inside out and he loved to watch him wake up with his very messy hair, calling for his name in a low and sleepy voice. He loved having to call him a sleepyhead because it always made Ven laugh and then grumble before pulling the blankets up and asking for _five more minutes, please_. Not to mention his precious smile when Vanitas brought him breakfast early in the morning.

Vanitas got into the car, checked the time on his wristwatch and once again looked to the bouquet.

He remembered the first time he gave Ventus a flower. They were still young and were out with some friends when he decided to give him a rose. The shine in Ventus' eyes had put a smile on his face for days ("How did you know I like them?" Ventus had asked in awe.) and from that day forward he decided he'd give him a bouquet whenever he could. And he did, sometimes on ordinary days but always on special dates!

Today was their 12th anniversary.

As he maneuvered the car Vanitas thought back to the day when he decided to get his driver's license. Ventus already knew how to drive when they first met and that meant he had taken many rides with him, which also resulted in their first kiss after many days going around together. When it was his turn to learn however panic settled on his stomach and refused to leave.

"Vanitas, calm down. You'll do fine!"

"I'll crash the car, that's what's gonna happen! I'll freeze with my hands on the steering wheel and stay stuck there until someone comes to save me!"

Ventus had touched his face. "Honey, hey… I already taught you some things, now all you gotta do is learn the rest."

"Why aren't you my teacher? It'd make things so much easier!"

"Honey, trust me." He had also kissed his forehead, stroking his cheeks as he spoke. "When you learn how to drive you'll be an even better driver than me! And then it'll be your turn to give me a few rides around town!"

"Oh, but of course. When I drive, if I manage to, I'll take you to wherever you'd like. All you gotta do is ask, darling."

"I thought you were afraid?"

"I am. But you know me, Ven. What I wouldn't do for you?"

Vanitas checked the time again; it was 9AM. He'd arrive at his destination in fifteen minutes if he drove slowly, which he meant to do. He turned the radio on just so he could have some noise for company and sighed, running his hand through his black hair.

He drove past their favorite bakery, his and Ventus'. It had the best coffee he had ever tasted and Ventus wouldn't stop talking about their delicious and perfect sweets! He also drove past a restaurant they regretted going to one day - The food was bad and cold, which forced them to go back home and eat some instant noodles to satisfy their hunger.

"So, sir, did you enjoy what you had here today? It is a secret recipe, you know." Ventus had asked while taking their plates to the sink.

"I enjoyed it very much, thank you. The sauce was magnificent!"

"And was it still warm when it was brought to you, sir?"

"Yes! Actually, it was so hot that I burned my tongue on it. Definitely not cold. Fabulous!"

"Thank you, thank you!"

Whenever they went out together by car Ventus liked to rest his arm behind Vanitas' neck and play with his hair while he drove. He loved when Ven did that, not only in the car but pretty much anywhere! His favorite place was on the bed they shared where, after a long and stressful day, they'd lay down next to each other, enjoy some tea and then cuddle until they fell asleep, Ventus hugging him from behind and occasionally kissing the back of his neck.

Vanitas felt his eyes burn and slowed down, closing them for a moment. He always felt emotional at that time of the year. On the day of their wedding anniversary it wasn't rare to find himself crying as he went through the day. Ventus always cried too and at the end of the day they hugged each other, saying their vows all over again until one of them started a tickle fight and they stopped crying to start laughing.

He loved Ventus' sweet, genuine laugh. Sometimes he didn't really find whatever they were watching funny but once Ventus started laughing he couldn't stop himself from doing the same. Overwhelmed by his purity and gentleness. By his kindness and happiness.

Vanitas got out of the car and breathed in the fresh air of a day that was far from being over. He picked the bouquet from the seat and looked once more to the roses, carefully chosen for being the most beautiful ones, to then close the door and cross the street towards the cemetery.

Closing his eyes again, he waited a few minutes and then went inside. There was no one else there and so he didn't look around himself as he walked, focused only on where exactly he wanted to be. Vanitas walked by many tombstones until he finally reached the one he had come to visit. He stopped before it.

"Hi, love."

Closing his fingers around the bouquet, Vanitas forced a smile.

"I'm sorry. I took a little longer to get here. The Flower Shop was full of people today for some reason." He knelt down and gently put the flowers before the grave. "But I got them. Your favorite ones. Just the way you like them."

Vanitas opened his mouth to breathe again. His breathing came out shaking and his voice sounded weak. "Today marks twelve years since our marriage… Can you believe that? Twelve years. And… Two since you left us. Time is… A funny thing."

He forced a low laugh, more for himself. To remember where he was and what he was doing. No matter how many times he went to visit Ventus, no matter how calm he was before arriving, it all crashed down once he was this close. It all crashed down, being so close and yet so far from him. His throat went dry and it felt hard to breathe.

"Ven, I..."

It was suffocating!

"... I miss you."

Vanitas was at home making dinner the day it happened. The night before he had made Ventus' favorite food and today was making his, unaware he would never be able to eat that same food again. He had talked to Ventus an hour ago and couldn't wait for him to get home. They had agreed to watch a movie together and wrap themselves up in their blankets to enjoy the weekend together. Ventus never got home.

"Oh, Ven, I m-miss you s-so much…!"

He had just finished their meal and was washing his hands when his cell phone rang. He picked it up from the table, smiling at his husband's name on the screen.

"Hi, sweetheart. Are you on your way home?"

But the the voice that spoke to him didn't belong to Ventus. And after that everything was a blur. The person who spoke, an officer, asked for his name. He made out the words accident, a car going too fast, needed to go to the hospital, but Vanitas didn't understand them at first. He didn't understand why Ventus' phone was with someone else, where was he?

"Where is Ventus?" He remembered asking.

He didn't remember what they said. He didn't remember how he had managed to leave home or how fast he drove to the hospital. He didn't remember, all he remembered was that nothing mattered at that moment, nothing but Ventus. He needed to be fast and reach him, he needed to hold him in his arms, needed to kiss his forehead and tell him how much he loved him. Tell him everything would be okay, that no matter how hurt he was they could handle it because he would take care of him. He would take care of Ventus, he would keep him safe!

But he didn't have time to tell him any of that. He had never had. Only later he'd find out that the person who hit Ventus didn't stop to help him and so when the ambulance arrived he had already lost too much blood and there was nothing more they could do. The driver did come back later but by then it was too late.

"You let him die!" Vanitas screamed at the top of lungs, choking in his tears and sorrow. "You let him die! I'm going to kill you!"

"Sir… Sir-"

"Let me go! He let him die, he killed Ventus! H-He killed… "

He had stopped moving and all of his anger turned into despair. To hear these words coming from his own mouth meant it was true. It meant he knew it was true, he knew he was gone. Vanitas put a hand on his chest, choking, and collapsed on the floor screaming in agony.

"O-Oh my God, he killed my Ven...!"

At the cemetery Vanitas buried his face in his hand, sobbing and shaking, knowing he would be going home alone again just like on the night he lost him. The movie Ventus wanted to watch would be in the living room, the dinner they should have enjoyed together would be forgotten and left to rot. The blankets under which they would hold each other to sleep and let the stress of the day fade away would be cold. All they had reduced to nothing in a matter of seconds.

He still remembered their conversation from their last night spent together.

"Vanitas?"

"Hm?"

"... Thank you."

"Thank you? For what?"

"For being here with me. And for taking care of me. And for being my Vani!"

"Oh… Well, in that case, thank you too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You know that, right?"

"Heh… I love you so much!"

And Ventus' had smiled, he had smiled at him in the sweetest, most caring way possible. Ventus, forever the most beautiful person he'd ever seen and forever the one he cherished the most.

Thirty minutes later Vanitas decided he needed to go home. No to his home but to their home, where Ventus' things were. Knowing his husband, he knew Ven would want him to move on and live life to the fullest. But he also knew that, if he wasn't able to do so, Ventus would understand. Because even though he had Ven in his heart, even though he still had their photos, their gifts, their memories… What difference would it make if he couldn't have Ventus by his side?

Vanitas would keep Ven alive in his memory. He would continue to visit him every year, every month and every week. He would tell him about the things he'd done and the things he'd like to do. And he would do that, all of that, because it was what Ventus would want him to do. He looked at the tombstone with affection, a few more tears falling from eyes.

"I-I love you, Ven. I loved, I love and I'll always love you."

And once his time in this world was over he would be happy. Because only then he would be able to hold his sweetheart's hands once more, to hold him in his arms and kiss his cheeks. And he would tell him, over and over, just how much he loved him.


End file.
